this is hard

When you are pregnant and day dreaming about your baby-to-be you conveniently jump ahead to 6 months of age, not thinking about those first few months and what they will really be like.

You imagine picnics in the park, walks with your new family through the neighborhood, giggles and laughs while you read bed time stories. You don't, even for a second, consider the reality of very little sleep, lots of crying, constant feeding, being stuck at home on the couch in front of the same dull daytime TV shows. BUT...that is the reality of mothering a newborn. And its hard.

As a first time Mom these things didn't register with me. I leaped ahead to post "newborn" phase in all my baby fantasies. And now, its slapping me in the face.

I am doing my best to take it day-by-day but all sorts of challenges I wasn't expecting have hit our new family. I have constant feelings of "I wasn't ready for this" and "I am a failure as a Mom." Because seriously, this is the hardest thing I have ever done...by a longshot.

In between all those frustrations and hardships there are wonderful moments, and its those moments you must hold onto as long as you possibly can and let yourself continue to day dream about the walks and the picnics because eventually those days will come.

And the love you have, you just let it wash over you.

I had a baby

Sorry for the long hiatus and lack of posts...but ya'll I HAD A BABY!

It has kind of taken over my life so not a lot of time to author blog posts right now. But I do realize the need to share this huge happening in my life and of course show off our adorable daughter.

I went into labor at 3am on November 10th. I woke up to a huge kick from our lil one followed by an intense contraction a minute later. After having some mild contractions the night before I knew this one was the real deal. And man was it ever!

Contractions quickly escalated from 10 min apart to 2 min apart within an hour! And did they ever intensify and hurt like woh! My plan was to labor at home as long as possible since we were having an unmedicated birth. This plan included showering, putting on make-up and over all just enjoying what was happening and taking it all in. Well, that plan was squashed because my body was ready to labor the baby right out.

We decided after contractions were coming at about 1 1/2 minute apart that we might need to go to the hospital. I didn't even get to dry my hair! Chase had to help me put mascara on in between moaning on the ball during my contractions.

By the time we made it to the hospital (10 min away but the longest car ride ever!) my contractions were coming on hard and it felt like I could barely take a breathe in between before I felt the next one coming.

I was 5cm dilated when I got checked at the hospital and within an hour I was 10cm, fully effaced and crowning! My doctor barely made it to the delivery.

With two good pushes our baby girl made her entrance into this world. The moment of hellacious pain to utter bliss was something I will never forget. To have my daughter put on my chest in all her screaming and wailing glory was incredible. The feeling of having delivered a human being and understanding what your body was just able to do is nothing short of a miracle.

Molly Jean Vincent was born at 6:28am on November 10th 2011. She was 6 lbs 5oz and 18.75" long. All 10 fingers and all 10 toes. A touch of red hair. In short, perfect.

I HAD A BABY!







It doesn't get much better than that. More to come...