FIVE.

For weeks leading up to Molly's birthday I had this sad feeling and a knot in my stomach. I wasn't sure what was causing it until I realized it was the upcoming birthday, the big 5.

Something about five just feels so surreal and so concrete - no longer a baby at all - a full on kid. All traces of her babydom are gone. She is tall and thin and lanky, no more little rolls here and there (she never had many to begin with!), no more tiny little fingers and toes that struggle for dexterity, no half walk-half wobble. She pronounces her words, some of them very big words, with no sign of struggle. She runs fast, jumps high, chews gum, wears lip gloss, speaks some Spanish, has attitude (lots!), makes her own decisions, solves problems. And on and on. Five.

These last five years have gone by so extremely incredibly fast. We have hard, long days that seem to stretch on forever but the collection of days, weeks, years just flash by. Texts are sent on a regular basis to my best friend sharing pictures of our kids at age 1, 2, 3 with crying emojis. Where did all the time go?

But here we are. A teeny tiny little baby girl turned big loud 5 year old. And she is every bit of amazing.

I had this moment a few days ago where I was watching her play and I couldn't believe that she was mine. That I had created and subsequently nurtured this person into existence. Motherhood is a weird feeling sometimes.

I am trying to slow down, to hold on, to take advantage of this fleeting time where I am still her entire world. Where I can still solve all of her problems. Where I can fully protect her and shield her from the outside. This time where she will still give me kisses in public and loudly declare her love for me. This time where she says things like "You look really beautiful Mama" and "You are the best Mama in the world." This time where I can still pick her up and twirl her around the room ending in fits of laughter on the floor.

In not too many days she will be too big to hold, too big to twirl, too big for public affection. It makes me sad to think about it but its coming, I can feel it. So I am going to treasure this time with my FIVE year old and do my best to live our days as fully as possible.

I love you Molly Jean. My first born. My strong willed child. My fierce one. Happy Five.

Ellie: 15 Months

Its hard to believe its already been 3 months since your First birthday. Time is definitely not slowing down. You are getting more and more fun everyday as you get braver exploring this world around you. You have also started to show a bit of an attitude about certain things which is both funny and exhausting! 15months to 2 is my favorite age. Your personality really starts to show and you just become this little person. This summer is going to be a blast!




Stats: 
22.5 lbs
32.5 inches tall
Teeth: 9 (5 top, 4 bottom)

Likes:
Playing with your shape sorter
Taking care of your baby dolls (kisses, feeding them bottles etc.)
Annoying your sister (hehe)
Being outside
Riding in your Cozy Coupe car
Jumping around in the back of Dad's truck

Dislikes:
When Mommy leaves
Falling/Crashing when exploring and climbing
Not being able to go outside
Being in the highchair to eat

Milestones/Firsts:
Walking and running
Saying "Ouch" - "Owww"
Waving bye on your own
Closed mouth kisses
First tantrum
First time in the pool

Words:
Dada
Mama
Owww
Dall - ball
And lots and lots of conversation we can't understand. ; )

Eating:
Eating has been hit or miss lately. She loves to snack but when it comes to eating a meal she doesn't like to sit still and eat for long. She goes through periods where she eats anything and everything and then days when she just doesn't eat much. She has whole milk 3 times a day still too. Her favorite foods are bananas, cinnamon toast, hot dog, grapes, blueberries, tomatoes, gerber crunchers, vanilla wafers.

Sleeping:
E is a great night sleeper. She goes to bed with usually no fuss around 7:45 and generally sleeps til about 7:30-7:45 the next morning. No complaints here! Her naps are a bit harder to pin down...she dropped to just 1 nap at around 10 months, bleh. And her naps only last about 1.5hrs. We are trying to figure out how to extend that because I can tell she needs a little more sleep during the day.

















We love you Ellie Belly...life is such a joy with you in it!

Ellie: 12 Months

Dear Ellie,

12 Months. One. I cannot believe a year has passed since you were born but I also can't remember what our life was like without you in it (well maybe, there was a bit more sleep). Before you were born I didn't understand how I would possibly love another child like I loved your sister. I worried that your first months and first year wouldn't be as good or as intentional as Molly's had been. I was afraid I wouldn't be able to divide my attention and love in two - to be able to be a good Mom to two littles was daunting.

And then you arrived and you were perfect. A little sister for Molly. Another baby girl for Mom and Dad. We were so happy and that love I was worried about, wow did it ever pour right out of me. Over this past year I have lived through all those wonderful and hard newborn and baby days and while I didn't enjoy every minute of it (not a big newborn fan) I did relish in the sweet moments that I will try my very hardest to never forget.

From the first day, you were different than your sister...milder, calmer, more relaxed. It was like you knew what I needed, you knew that I would have to juggle between you and your sister and you just went with the flow. I was so lucky that you understood this or I might not have survived. Watching you grow, all the milestones - smile, laugh, roll over, sit up, crawl, stand up - it was just as magical the second time around. My very favorite is when you get so excited and happy that your legs kick and your entire body just kind of lights up. And that dimple...oh my goodness that dimple.

So what I am trying to say is, you are perfect in our eyes and we love you more than we ever thought possible. Our family needed you to be whole and we are so glad you are here. I look forward to this next year ahead and all of the fun we will have. 12 Months. It went by so fast.



Stats: 
20 lbs 12oz
30.5 inches tall
Teeth: 4 (2 top, 2 bottom)

Likes:
Opening and closing doors (any and all doors)
Unloading things and loading them back up
The door stop, loves to play with it
Climb...everything is something to climb on
Sliding
Balloons

Dislikes:
Being told No
Having to be still (getting dressed, diaper changes, car seat etc.)
Being removed from a dangerous climbing situation

Milestones/Firsts:
First Birthday!!
Blowing kisses
Taking a few steps (I give it 2-3 weeks until she is walking for real)
Going down the slide
Eating cake!

Happy Birthday Ellie

Our sweet baby girl turned one...



we love you so much. Happy Birthday Ellie! xoxo

One More Day (second time around)...

I published a post the day before Molly, my 4 year old, turned One about the last day before her birth. It was the last day of my childless life and I had absolutely no idea how dramatically and quickly my life was about to change (in every possible way).

Now here I sit, one more day until my second baby girl, Ellie, turns One. Tomorrow morning when I wake up I will have a 4 year old and a 1 year old. It blows my mind. This last year has been amazing but its also been hard, trying, utterly exhausting and so many other things. Having a second child didn't rock my entire world the same way having our first did, but once again everything we knew about our daily life was turned upside down. My then 3 year old went through her own growth pains as a new big sister along with the rest of my family as we learned how to exist and be happy as a family of 4. But here we are. 364 days later. We survived. And my goodness how we are blessed. So blessed.

This time last year was just a normal day and we were not even close to being prepared to welcome our second baby. Her due date was 3 weeks away. My midwife had checked me and I was barely 1 centimeter dilated. We had time.

Chase and I were on the couch watching a movie. It was around midnight and I got up to go to the bathroom. When I did my water broke. I looked at Chase and started to kinda freak out. I wasn't ready. Molly wasn't ready. I thought I had a couple more weeks to soak in my first baby and plan a few more adventures. But the baby was ready and she was coming.

I called my midwife and told her. She told me to go back to bed and try to relax while we waited for things to really get started. So I went and curled up in bed and tried to really enjoy the quiet, the calm, the normal before everything would be turned upside down again.

364 days ago...

Ellie: 11 Months

We are in the final stretch...one more month (more like 2.5 weeks now) and my little baby will be ONE. Its hard to believe it has been near a year since we welcomed this little girl into our family. We are so glad you joined us Ellie Belly...our family wouldn't be the same without you!



Stats: 
21(ish) pounds
Size 4 diapers
12-18 mo and 18mo pants
Teeth: 4! They are so cute.

Likes:
Balls...loves to play catch
Pointing at things
Waving
The play kitchen
Blueberries! (just like her sister)

Dislikes:
Running out of food
Being forced to be still (diaper changes, putting clothes on)
Not being able to reach something
Being in the carseat

Milestones/Firsts:
Pointing at things
Waving hi and bye
First New Years
3rd and 4th tooth!
Says "Dada" and knows who that is

Sleep:
Decent but still waking up once at night. We are putting an end to that very very soon.

Life:
The past couple weeks Ellie got hit with a cold and then a stomach bug. Not fun. But she is healthy again now and back to her happy self! She loves to just be on the move and explore. She likes going to new places but HATES being in the carseat...just whines and cries the entire time. She really loves being outside and I can't wait for the Spring and Summer, its going to be so fun! Ellie smiles constantly and also makes this little scrunchy face that is so adorable, especially now with all of her teeth poking through. We just love this girl to pieces!

Ellie: 10 Months

10 Months! Getting so close to the big ONE. Ellie is so fun and such a goofy sweet spirited baby. I am so excited to continue to see her little personality develop. I can tell she is going to be so different from her sister, her own person. This past month has been great and before we know it we will have a 1 year old!

Stats: 
Probably around 21 lbs or so
Wearing size 4 diapers
12 mo clothes and a few 12-18 items
Teeth: 2 and quickly on her way to more

Likes:
Pulling up and cruising around furniture
Pulling tissues out of the box
Making a b-line for the dog water and food bowls...she loves them!
Bath time w/big Sister - they are so cute in the bath together

Dislikes:
Diaper changes
Getting her clothes on for the day
Putting her pajamas on at night (you would think someone was beating her, the screams and cries - oh my!)


Milestones/Firsts:
Cruising - she pulls up on everything and then just cruises around going after different objects
First Christmas
Second tooth!
Sort of saying "Mama" but sometimes its "Mamamama"

Sleep:
Hit or miss. Sometimes we get a 2hr nap, sometimes its 30 minutes. She is going to bed easy again at night but is still waking up 1x a night between 3-6. Currently we are letting her cry it out for a few min and if she doesn't go back to sleep I feed her a small bottle and she will sleep til around 8:15 or so. We are going to have to man-up and do a little more training so she will start sleeping through the night consistently.

Family:
Ellie LOVES being around her sister and often times trying to play with whatever Molly is playing with. The dynamic between the two is getting interesting but I can tell that when E gets a little bit older they are going to be the best of friends. Ellie has also gotten a tad better about her Mommy separation syndrome. She will actually let me turn the opposite direction from her without having a total breakdown. Yay!

Ellie: 9 Months

9 Months in - 9 Months out. Insane to think that she is quickly on her way to turning 1! This past month she has really gotten mobile, crawling fast and pulling herself up constantly. She laughs all the time and will give you a big ol' grin for just looking in her direction. She is feisty about certain things and hates to be still for even a second. I used to think she was going to be our more chill child but everyday I start to think that we will definitely have our hands full with two high energy girls. I can hardly remember life before Ellie now and she is so special to our family. We love you Ellie Belly!



Stats: 
20lbs 1oz, 28" long
Wearing size 3 diapers during the day and size 4 at night
Wearing 9-12 mo and 12 mo clothes
Teeth: 1! - her first tooth finally broke through on the bottom. yay!

Likes:
Pulling anything and everything off any surface and onto the floor
Eating (current favorites are sweet potatoes, grapes, cheese, green beans and puffs)
Playing Peek-a-Boo
Her play table

Dislikes:
Mom walking in the opposite direction (she really, really doesn't like this)
Her sister loving a little too hard
Being in the carseat for more than 5 minutes

Milestones/Firsts:
Pulling up - girl is everywhere!
First Thanksgiving. Dominated the food portion of the holiday.
First extended period staying in OKC - we went for a week.
First tooth!
Sort of saying "Mama" but sometimes its "Mamamama"

Sleep:
Ugh. We hit the dreaded 9 month regression hard. She fights naps and sometimes they only last 30 minutes, she started fighting bedtime a bit and she is back to waking up once between 4am - 6am. Fun.

Family:
Ellie soaked up all the extra family time while back in OKC and got to meet her Great Grandma Ruth which was super fun. She continues to want to be near her sister and play with all the same toys!







Molly at 9 months vs Ellie - couple of cuties!